15 December 2011, 4:26 pm
My boyfriend, of 5 years (We're both 27 and have lived with each other for 4 1/2 years) is constantly being asked by his Mother, sister and brother to come home and visit (We live in California, they live in Massachusetts.) In the five years we have been together, we usually fly back twice a year, once during the holidays and in the summer. However, we see them 4-5 times a year, because they either travel here or a family/friend will have a wedding somewhere that we all assemble at. However, in the last few years his Mom and Sister have been asking him to fly home alone. They tell him things like, "We love Samantha! But, we need our alone time with you" or, "We just don't want you to have to worry about entertaining Samantha while you're here." Mind you, when we are there I have never asked him to "entertain" me. The first trip we did take together to his parents we did spend a lot of time traveling New England, but I had never been there before and he had wanted to show me where he grew up. This last Christmas, besides going to the grocery store, one trip to New Hampshire to pick up his birthday present and a 9:00pm showing of a movie, we literally just sat around their house while his father watched TV and his mom went to work, cooked and also watched TV. I was even asked not to come last year when he had to fly home immediately due to the fact that his father landed in the hospital with an infection that almost killed him. He has told them both that we are a package deal, and it hurts both our feelings that they would exclude me from these trips, but they just brush it off that they really just need some alone time with him. Now, his mother is asking him to come next month (we saw them in October) and she uses his elderly father as a pawn by saying things that make him think his father is so sick and she is afraid he doesn't have much time. I of course, would never stand n his way of going to his parents house and he has been several times without me, it just makes me sad to feel like I am unwelcome in their home. It makes me feel uncomfortable thinking of ever going there again when I know I'm basically just the "extra baggage" now that goes along with her son/brother. Am I being too sensitive? Is this something normal? Because, in my family everyone treats my boyfriend like part of the family and tell him how glad they are he is in my life, and when my Grandfather was in the hospital last year, they would have NEVER asked for him to not have been there with me. Is this normal and I'm just missing something? What should I do?... Read More »
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